Here at PeaTiX, events are our trade, our bread and butter, the primordial ooze out of which our careers emerged. And so we pay tribute to the event gods by getting our event on frequently. Yet there are those events around the world that we would not touch with a continent-length pole, those events we are supremely glad did not require our RSVP. For instance…
1. Mitt Romney’s 66th Birthday Party
The essential depressing post-election photo of our time, no one ever really thought that the world would receive a sadder photograph of Mitt Romney than him on a roller coaster at Disneyland. But lo, recently the heavens opened and down floated this picture of Mitt on his 66th birthday:
There are a few conjectures to be made about this photo: based on the pieces of cake, there are probably no more than 5-7 people in the room, and based on his formal-ish getup, they are probably not people terribly close to him. It’s unclear what’s in the other take-out looking boxes, but in the least depressing case it is some other food that would give more credence to the diet coke, and in the most it is more cake for the friends he doesn’t have (too harsh?).
2. Middle East Concrete
“The largest event for the concrete industry showcasing four days of innovate concrete products, technical seminars and live product demonstrations.” Wow. Kill me now. That sound SO, so, SO boring. I would rather be buried in concrete. But…one does wonder what the afterparty would look like after talking concrete all day. Hmm…Middle East Concrete 2013!
3. The Alcoholics Anonymous meetings of St. Petersburg, Russia
Who can imagine a human event more disheartening than a Russian admitting he has a problem? How about a whole room of them at once? The horror! Although, as with Concrete Middle East, one still wonders what a bunch of Russians who haven’t had anything to drink all evening would do after an AA meeting.
4. Competitive Mooing
Competitive mooing is a thing. Mostly a midwest thing. I could absolutely see attending a meowing or hooting or bleating competition, but the line is drawn at mooing. I mean, if cows were having a talking competition, I don’t think you’d want to attend either. But if OWLS were holding a talking competition, we’d be there from start to finish.