{"id":192,"date":"2014-02-04T18:08:41","date_gmt":"2014-02-04T09:08:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.peatix.com\/article\/five-expertly-made-up-occupations-for-your-next-party"},"modified":"2018-06-28T10:17:05","modified_gmt":"2018-06-28T10:17:05","slug":"five-expertly-made-up-occupations-for-your-next-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/five-expertly-made-up-occupations-for-your-next-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Five fake occupations for your next party"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Tired of answering \u201cso what do you do?\u201d\u00a0 Peatix Singapore has your back with this expert list of utterly made-up jobs. Find the right fake title and never be bored at parties again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Blogshop Owner (Good-as-new pre-loved shoes)<\/strong><br \/>\nChinese New Year is a busy sourcing season for you, since Singaporeans visit homes of relatives they only see once a year and leave their fancy new shoes lying around unguarded.\u00a0 You give them a good clean and sell them online at shockingly low prices.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/corridor.JPG\" alt=\"Dont STOMP me\" width=\"630\" height=\"210\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Cold Yoga Instructor <\/strong><br \/>\nAs a teacher of Thanda Yoga, or Cold Yoga, you are leading the way in exposing Singapore to the benefits of yoga done with air-conditioning at full-blast. You claim the cold contracts your pores for better complexion, stiffens your muscles to provide a more challenging stretch, and improves your mental health because cold people are more appreciative of life in general.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/aircon.jpg\" alt=\"Latest trend in town\" width=\"630\" height=\"210\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>3. SMRT Social Media Manager<\/strong><br \/>\nYour go-to terms are \u201cbridging services\u201d, \u201ccable fault\u201d and \u201ctrack fault.\u201d\u00a0 You know before everyone else if you should take the EWL, NSL or bus to your office located right at City Hall.\u00a0 Free rides are a perk, but the unstable 3G network on trains has gotten you into trouble with delayed Facebook posts and tweets.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/SMRT.jpg\" alt=\"Standard issue uniform\" width=\"630\" height=\"210\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>4. (Non-face) Underwear Model<\/strong><br \/>\nIf someone says you look familiar, let them know why.\u00a0 The OG and Metro department store brands photograph your lovely assets, but skip your face to save on the budget.<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/og_lingerie.jpg\" alt=\"You dont say I look familiar\" width=\"630\" height=\"210\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Lead Dengue Banner Designer<\/strong><br \/>\nYou\u2019re an unsung hero.\u00a0 Your banners have saved hundreds of lives and counting.\u00a0 You\u2019re looking for new ways to shock the population into covering their bamboo pole holes with plastic caps.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/bleedbreed.jpg\" alt=\"If they bleed you bleed\" width=\"630\" height=\"210\" \/><\/p>\n<p>But seriously\u2026here are <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/sg\/5-steps-to-effective-event-networking\">5 steps to effective event networking.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/ptix.co\/fulllistsg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/cms.peatix.com\/images\/blog\/Blog_Footer.jpg\" alt=\"Discover new events in Singapore with Peatix\" width=\"630\" height=\"165\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tired of answering \u201cso what do you do?\u201d\u00a0 Peatix Singapore has your back with this expert list of utterly made-up jobs. Find the right fake title and never be bored [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":582,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13,15,9,12,14],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/192"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=192"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/192\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eventblog.peatix.com\/experiences\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}